Modern English

Modern English is the descendent of early Britain and Germanic dialects, which then took up with the Scandinavians, then the French and Italians languages and then blended in nouns and adjectives from every known language on the earth. Modern English contains over 100 dialects and is liberally sprinkled with the words from other cultures.

Take ‘haiku’ (Japanese), ‘bandana’ (Hindi/Urdu), and ‘glamour’ (Scottish). Batman is Turkish, boondocks is Tagalog. Want to add a little ‘arsenic’ to your loved ones ‘alcohol’? Both of those words are of Persian origin. The modern English spoken today began its shift from Ye Olde English back between 1450 and 1750 during what was coined by the Danish linguist Otto Jespersen as the “Great Vowel Shift”.

Shakespeare is used as the most understandable line of demarcation between what was spoken then and what is spoken now. In layman’s terms, people began pronouncing their vowels differently over the course of several years until the pronunciation that is currently used came into effect. It is impossible to approximate how many words are in the modern English language. Over a million, for certain.

But still, how do you count words that have more than one meaning? Take the word ‘bow’. It is either a stick you use to play a violin or a physical gesture of respect made by bending at the waste. So is that two words – or one? Cold is either a temperature or an indication someone doesn’t like you.

The language is further complicated by the plethora of sheer overwhelming inexplicably descriptive adjectives that can be used to give meaning to a simple action. So your friend told a funny joke and you laughed? That joke could be hilarious, amusing, absurd, clever, diverting, entertaining, jocular, riotous, silly, witty, side-splitting….not merely funny.

And if you laughed, you did not simply laugh. You giggled, chortled, snorted, shrieked, grinned, guffawed, convulsed, chuckled, howled, roared, snickered…..and ‘snicker’ is also a candy bar. And if the modern English language doesn’t contain the word you need – make it up. Ever hear of the word ‘smize’? This is a word coined by a famous top model to describe the acting of smiling with your eyes while posing during a photo shoot.

Certainly the modern English language will give any other tongue that has ever been spoken anywhere a exhausting run for its money in terms of the number of words and their multiple meanings and wells as shades of variation implied by tone of voice. Local colloquialisms in languages further add spice to the mix until it’s become an all inclusive stew that just can’t bear to turn down a new ingredient.